Crumbling

When I make plans, I make them big (by plan I also sometimes mean that-scenario-I-play-out-in-my-head). But the problem I've found is that "plans" have little details that need looking after. It usually involves the agency of other people.

So it goes like this...

I run through possible scenarios of a situation that I'll soon find myself in inside my little noggin. Usually I have really awesome come backs or life-altering ideas for my end of the scenario and it is always performed with finesse and just the right amount of everything to make my responses perfect. The other person is either quite speechless with my verbal prowess that anything they say is flat out weak or they agree completely and wholeheartedly with what I have to say. So my "plans" are usually foolproof.

Until I get to the actual real-life play out.

Things usually go all sorts of wrong. I am nervous and shaky so my voice is too. The words I planned on using end up in corners of my brain that are only to be found when in fantasy mode. The surroundings end up skeewompus and so I am flustered. My perfect scene is to remain on the drawing board inside my own head.

Most of the things that end up interfering with my perfection, have to do with those other blasted people that end up involved in the real life situation.

So instead of saying or doing it the way I had imagined they said or did it, they use their agency and do their own thing. Gasp. Those wretches.

So one tiny deviation from my own imagined scenario and my whole "plan" crumbles into tiny teeny unsalvageable pieces. Then my plans are a moot point.

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