Cocoa + Sugar + Milk =

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Chocolate pudding. The little box sits in my cupboard off to the side, untouched and unnoticeable. Until now. My eyes furtively glance at its alluring cover time and time again. I can't seem to forget it's small presence there. My brain can't seem to fathom any other food product to be edible. But at the same time my brain says, "NO! It will accumulate on your behind, your thighs, your belly, your forehead, everywhere that it is undesirable. Do NOT pull that chocolate pudding out of the cupboard!"

My stomach long since deprived of any nourishment grumbles it's thoughts, "I'm empty. Anything will do. But why not something delicious and succulent?" Once again my eyes seek the brown and blue colored box...why are these colors so vivid today?! My hands try to shut the door to my barren cupboard...or is it full? I can't tell...all I can see is that blasted box of pudding!!

Suddenly my mouth begins to water and it sends memories of the delicious taste of the cool soft chocolate pudding to my wavering brain! My resolve weakens...I had basically killed my body exercising the day before...and they say that chocolate holds the key to rebuilding muscle... So much is at stake!

"Ashley..." What the..?! I thought all my roommates were at class or work... I glance around. Nothing. "Ashley..." It was the PUDDING!!! Pudding isn't supposed to talk right? I'm hallucinating... I'm imagining that that stupid box is calling my name! I'd better eat it to shut it up... I can't have a box of chocolate pudding goin around speaking my name. Not gonna happen.

I pull the box frantically out of the cupboard and the milk out of the fridge. I mix the powdery contents of the package into the two cups of cow product in a medium-sized yellow bowl. I wait anxiously while the concoction lives in the fridge on the top shelf cooling and setting into that pudding consistency. The empty box sits in the garbage...screaming of my weakness.

The next step. Consume with pleasure. So I grab a spoon and dip it into the brown goodness... I am definitely a fan of deliciousness. Tomorrow when I am feeling sick because of the overload of sugar, I'll regret this...but right now...I'm doin just fine!


Matt October 27, 2010 at 9:39 PM  

Om nom nom...

They don't have pudding in Mexico (except for flan), so once while I was on my mission Mom sent me a care package with two boxes of chocolate pudding in it. I made them but then, because I didn't want to share with the other three missionaries in my apartment, I went to bed. After they were all asleep, I got up and ate it. All of it. And then I went right back to bed.

That night I dreamt that I was a snake. I had a pet freshwater shark. I was performing vivisections on the shark to turn it into a snake—so it could experience all the benefits of being a snake, of course.

Now I understand why Ebenezer Scrooge tried to blame his vision of Jacob Marley on "an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato."

Rachel October 27, 2010 at 9:51 PM  

Hey skullmaster, you want a Krispie Kream? Man, I can't see NOTHIN'!

Matt October 29, 2010 at 1:34 PM  

Cocoa + Sugar + Milk =

Sausage?!! According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the first definition of pudding is: "A stuffed entrail or sausage, and related senses."

With the following two subdefinitions: "The stomach or one of the entrails (in early use sometimes the neck) of a pig, sheep, or other animal, stuffed with a mixture of minced meat, suet, oatmeal, seasoning, etc., and boiled; a kind of sausage."

And: "A stuffing made of a mixture of minced meat, suet, oatmeal, seasoning, etc., and roasted within the body of the animal."

It isn't until definition 4a that you get: "A boiled, steamed, or baked dish made with various sweet or (sometimes) savoury ingredients, added to a mixture typically including milk, eggs, and flour (or other fatty or starchy ingredients such as suet, rice, semolina, etc.), or enclosed within a crust made from such a mixture."

Matt October 29, 2010 at 6:06 PM  

So I wonder which Scrooge means when he says, "Every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart."

Rachel October 30, 2010 at 10:13 PM  

Strange how you were able to pull two references to A Christmas Carol out of Ashley's post, Matt! I really enjoyed the story of your crazy dream. And Ashley, why fight happiness? I say eat all the pudding you want. I wish I had some.

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