Books of paradise

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

There are many times in my life when I just need to cuddle up on the couch or curl up on my bed and read a good book! 

Sometimes I*m in the mood for a gushy-like-gushers; cheesy-like-the-delicious-squeaky-kind; sappy-as-a-pine-tree romance novel. Other times I*m in need of an honest to goodness C.S. Lewis novel for some deep soul searching and philosophical ponderances. Every night I crack open the Book of Mormon (1) for some serious studying to find life changing answers and comforting words. When I*m up for it I*ll grab a Sherlock Holmes mystery and puzzle my way through it. 

But the books I will never tire of. The books that capture my attention every time I look at the cover. Books with cunning wit. Books of stunning insight and out-of-this-world knowledge. Books that make me laugh until I cry or cry until I laugh. Books that change my life. 

These are books of the paradisical glory of which I speak...


Me and my awesome nose...oh; and the book is there too.
The Complete Book of Nose Etiquette
 ...and other nasal matters
written by Dr. Doight du Nez
drawings by Steve Bjorkman

Never before have I stumbled upon such a work of greatness. Well...it was more my uncle. He was foraging through his old room and its remaining occupants and brought it up to us. I snatched it and haven*t relinquished it since. With amazing depictions of the different nose types in existence; the book describes the 7 basic nose types; discusses the different booger removal techniques available; and even lists some easy do-it-yourself ways to get the nose you*ve always dreamed of. This is by no means light reading.


If you can see my eyes...you might be ninja...
The Ninja Handbook
This book looks forward to killing you soon
Official product of the International Order of Ninjas

This wondrously sneaky book came as a not-so-surprise Christmas gift from an esteemed foe of mine. As is his nature; he tends to think that I need help in this area (little does he know I wrote Section II deducing your ninja level and Section IV the skills of a ninja). In this book it discusses secrets of the elite ninja lifestyle. As the title denotes it is a handbook of sorts. But as with everything else that is awesome; being a ninja goes far and beyond what is contained in this teeny tiny book as all real ninjas well know. 
note: there are serious penalties to those who read this book and disperse the actual contents of its pages...you have been warned...
I*m just a small town girl trying to figure things out...
This Is NOT A Book
Written by Keri Smith creator of Wreck This Journal

This Is NOT A Book was an interesting item to come across. It really isn*t a book. I didn*t read it. Every page contains a new adventure to be performed by the owner (me). From creating Treasure Maps to Psychological mood-altering machines to Kits for boring events. This book is stuffed with crazy random missions for the bored-out-of-your-mind type people or people who need some serious awesomeness in their lives. Some day when I*ve completed all of the pages inside...I will be so mind-bogglingly fantastic no one will know what to do with me.

Well...that is assuming they know what to do with me now...as a normally fantastic person...


Here*s some awesomeness...
  1. The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ. It has changed my life as no other book can. To find out more about my firm beliefs go to this fabulous mormon site.

3 comments:

Matt February 15, 2011 at 10:06 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt February 15, 2011 at 10:51 PM  

One of my favorite books (which I used to carry around in my back pocket for a quick reference) is Everything Men Know About Women, by Dr. Alan Francis. (You can find it on Amazon.)

Ash February 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM  

Yes...I remember you telling about this...obscure book! ;)

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