Weekless

As the time approaches that we commemorate the death, atonement, and resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ and having just finished with the uplifting words in General Conference (1), I have been super reflective (a lot like a mirror). My buddy Ted and I decided that we were going to make this week meaningful.

A lot like Lent...but not really...we are going to give up the world for a week and focus on the Savior. We decided some parameters and lists of "do"s and "do not"s.

Do NOT

• Get on facebook (that evil social media that hooks you and drags you in...)
• Get on Pinterest (this one will require cold turkey withdrawal for me...and it might get ugly)
• Listen to modern worldly music
• Read secular books
• Watch tv or movies
• Riding his scooter (this was his major sacrifice and I've got the keys...scooter ride anyone??)

DO

• Homework
• Listen to uplifting, spiritual things
• Read our scriptures with an emphasis on the Savior's last week
• Other constructive, productive activities that are wholesome

Now this will be an interesting week. I fully intend to do my best to NOT do the do NOT's and DO do the DOs. I hope that this will be an even more reflective time, considering the everlasting sacrifice my Savior made for me. There is much for me to learn.

Read more...

The Path Ahead

I don't pretend to be a good writer. I just try to make things interesting once in awhile and if it suits me, I share the thoughts and feelings inside me. Feeling very pensive on this fine Sunday morning, this is one of those times.

Sometimes in life the path ahead is unclear to me. Things that happen along the way make me pause and overthink all sorts of nasty thoughts.

The destination is clear.

But there are times when the path has been overgrown by a thicket of doubt or a tree has fallen in front of me that takes much effort and pain to clear.

Since General Conference (2) is coming up this next weekend, I have been pondering a lot of things in my life. God has promised me so many great blessings and given me many blessings that I have done my best to appreciate. But what an impatient creature I am. I want these blessings now. I have not the patience it requires. Because of this impatience...I falter. I stumble. I doubt and fear what is ahead. That maybe I'm not going to receive those blessings after all. 

But God is great. There is no one more trustworthy than God. It is my weakness that bars the way. But it is through His strength that I will overcome.

I may not know my pathway's journey ahead but I do know that God knows it. He is the Master who loves me and will lead me through all that I may encounter. He knows and understands my pain and in Him will I trust. 

D&C 24:8

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

Read more...

Sneezing gone awry

nose: Oh...that tickles...that REALLY tickles!! All I need is a small sneeze for this one. I'll have to call the brain.

nose rings over to brain

brain: Hello nose! How are things over there?

nose: Oh there's always the ups and downs. At the moment I've got an awful itch! Could you do me a favor? 

brain: I know exactly what you need! I'll talk to all the muscles needed for the job.

nose: Oh thank you! Thank you!

brain rings down to abs, pecs, and throat

throat: Hey brain! What's goin on up there? Neck told me he had a feelin something was goin down.

brain: Oh nothing big. It's just that nose has quite the tickle he needs getting rid of.

throat: Oh that's nothing. We'll take care of him. I'll get things started.

brain: Great. I'll just relay to pecs and abs.

pecs: Brain? What is it?

brain: A sneeze is in order. 

pecs: All right. I'm on it.

abs: Brain! I haven't heard from you in a few days. 

brain: Well things have been pretty quiet since the surgery. You up for a sneeze yet?

abs: Ummm... Lemme check. *grunt* *grumble* OUCH! Oh no...nope I can't do it yet!

brain: Uh oh...I'd better stop the sneeze!!!

The body winds up ready for the pitch. Every part ready for impact.

 brain over body system intercom

brain: CEASE FIRE!! CEASE FIRE!! Abs can't help yet. Nose...I'm sorry. But you're just gonna have to deal with it for now. Maybe next time buddy.

Read more...

My team

Last night I struggled with the idea of sleep.

My mind literally would NOT settle down and let me get some Z's. So as a result I could NOT make myself get up and go to 7:30 class (much to the disappointment of my wonderful roommate).


So I slept in (as much as was possible considering my mind was still hard at work...) and with the time I had allowed myself before I went in to work, I decided to do something productive.

I got on to the official LDS website and listened to some of the speakers from General Conference that I hadn't listened to as attentively as some of the others. I felt the wonderful Spirit settle down on my freshly made bed beside me and teach me things about myself and my eternal worth as a daughter of a Heavenly Father.

Although this isn't from any of the talks I listened to this morning it made a point to me that helped me realize where I'm going.

"The future of this world has long been declared; the final outcome between good and evil is already known. There is absolutely no question as to who wins because the victory has already been posted on the scoreboard. The only really strange thing in all of this is that we are still down here on the field trying to decide which team's jersey we want to wear!"
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles

I know what team I'm on. There isn't even a question as to which is the best team. I may have slip-ups and stumblings as I play for my team but my Coach will never forsake me or send me off the field until I've finished what I've come here to do.

Read more...

Wanderlust

My bag is packed. Selected and designed to get me to my journey's end.  I open the door. The first step is always the hardest, the leaving part. But yet not the hardest. The excitement for adventure in me makes it easy. I step onto the road to test my true endurance.

The road is long. I've known it for some time. Prepared in every way possible. But what awaits me, is beyond my comprehension. I've only heard stories and fairy tales of the place at the end of this road. I must get there. The desire in my heart and the strength in my soul begs me to reach out for it. Despite the promised dangers that lay in wait and the strain on my mortal body, I travel.

Thirsting and starving. Stumbling, weary, and travel worn. I stop. Only for a time. I am alone on the road. I find a stream heading the same direction I am. The cool water refreshes me and I eat my bread to strengthen me. The night is coming.

Much must be done to prepare myself for the long night. Shelter is thrown up and a fire lights a small circumference around me. I sleep for a time.

Noises coming from the dark. I've been taught to stay in the light. The creatures of the night don't bother with fire and its company. But sleep is hard to come by with the fear and anticipation of what lay beyond my eyes' seeing. The fear gathers inside me and I doubt the sun's rising. But just the slightest glimmer on the eastern horizon sparks hope in my heart.

The road stumbles me. My small torch only shows me so far ahead. Many times I climb huge obstacles and other times I walk sluggish through dense forest. But always my mind remembers where I'm going. And who will be there waiting.

I've reached the mountain. My destination lies beyond. With determination I reach up and take hold. My load weighs me down at times but it is essential for me to keep it close. Climbing requires all my strength and fortitude. Sometimes I run out. But Someone's hands push me forward or lift me up when I get caught.

Right now I must struggle on. The hardest part of my journey is stretched up before me. I have come a long way. But more is required if I am to reach this place. My heart yearns for it. Although my body is weak, strength will come.

Nothing can stop me but myself.

Read more...

Book covers and what's inside

The Master Librarian always says, "Never judge a book by its cover." The hard part is there are so many attractive covers. They look so enticing and exciting. Most of the other book covers are mediocre and thus just beyond my notice. Not that I judge them for it. Just ignore them. A few grab my attention because of their atrocious looking covers. I definitely judge those and I think those are the ones He's talking about. But there can't be much to love inside their covers when they look like that.

I peruse the selection of new books before me. I sort them according to their title and on a smaller level their state of attractiveness. Humming as I finish my job there in the library, the Master Librarian walks up behind me and watches my work silently. I hardly ever see Him even though He's always there.

My sorting is getting more liberal. His presence somehow makes my eyes see differently. Some books look precious to me despite the raggedy appearance. I feel his attention move to the previously sorted books. I can feel the prickle of guilt start inside my gut.

"Never judge a book by its cover, Little One." My cheeks burn as I go back through the piles and rearrange their order. I must see what is inside them before I can decide their place in the library. Some of the prettier ones have horrible things inside them. I'm horrified! Many of the uglier ones are so beautiful on the inside. Some of them I sit in wonder for hours staring at what I see inside them. A quiet nagging starts in the back of my brain.

One book sits in the back corner of the library. I do my very best to never touch it. Or dust it. Or come near it. That book has been there for a long time. I've never liked the look of it. It always made me mad to look at it. Sometimes I couldn't understand why the Master Librarian would make these kinds of books.

I look to His face. He knows where my thoughts have wandered. Suddenly I know that He took great care to put that book together and it hurts him when I avoid that book so much. I hang my head in shame.

Once alone again, I wander over. The book is dusted over and just as hideous to me as ever.

I gingerly pick it up. The book seems eager to open up to me. What an odd sensation to get from a book. I open the once repulsive cover. Wonder and amazement flood my entire being. Why hadn't I opened it before? Sadness replaces my feelings of awe. How lonely it must've been because of my aversion.

It took me a long time to see and it will take me even longer to learn to "Never judge a book by its cover."

An age old phrase 'Never judge a book by its cover.' Repetition usually denotes a valued lesson...it always falls on deaf ears. Learning often involves mistakes in retrospect. But those are the hardest lessons to learn. Regret is often their companion. But they stick longer.

Snap judgments can last a lifetime. And thankfully the Lord showed me the truth. All the bad thoughts, the misconceptions meant nothing to me. I was shown the soul of someone I had deemed unworthy of my love and compassion. But that was the biggest lie I told myself. They needed that part of me more than anything else I could've given. I realize all the little mistakes through the many years I've known them that had I saved judgment for later I might've made their journey a little lighter, a little happier.

To have a friend in someone who needs a friend so badly, is probably the most fulfilling role a person can fill. Hopefully I'm big enough to fill it this time.

Read more...

Bye bye plane

I cradled the air around my niece as she climbed up the old orchard ladder. Her intent on reaching the very top with all the bravery of a two year old, was steadfast. She most certainly didn't need any help from me. She informed me she could do it all by herself (that didn't stop me from adding my protection nonetheless...).
 
She reached the step almost at the end of my reach so I clamped my hand on her ankle, effectively ending her assent. Every time she reached that point she would look around and with a grin brighter than the sun on her face, she would say "I can see anything I want to!" To my mind (all of 22 years of experience in the art of thinking, thank you very much) that was obviously impossible but in her mind (only 2.5 years absent from heaven) everything was still so very possible.

A plane flew by overhead, a mere speck against the vast blue sky. My beautiful little niece gasped and waved to it exclaiming, "Bye! Bye! Plane! I will see you tomorrow! And we will fly!" I was struck by the fantastic thought. How big the world is for one so small. Her dreams weren't separated from her reality.

The obstacles in our lives are hard. A lot of them are painful and very trying. Just as this ladder was quite a feat for the 2 year old, it was also an opportunity. She could see so much more at that height than she ever could at ground level and it didn't matter to her that she had to climb, in fact she was happy to do it. Every time we hit an obstacle, it is just another ladder to climb. We have to learn what it takes to climb it, what we need to pull out of ourselves to get to the top. Then we can say "I can see anything I want to!" We can reach our potential a ladder at a time! The higher we climb the more of the valley* of our lives we can see.

My niece luckily did not climb that ladder alone (or else I would have words from her mother and I probably still will...) nor do we have to climb our ladders alone. All of us experience the need for independence especially when those around us offer their help but just think...we always have that one Person who will never let us climb alone no matter our protests. Christ* is our spotter. He will always make sure we get to the top safely. Always.

Then when we have no longer to climb...he helps us fly to our dreams.

Read more...

And did not know it. What!

This little delight is me trying a hand at poetry. I spouted it out one day when I was feeling especially pensive about life and the "elusive future" (as Pres. Monson puts it) in store for me.  We all search for answers to what will happen to us as time goes by. Although I still sometimes worry about my future I know to whom I can turn for solace and comfort.

They say it like it's my choice. But how could it just be mine?
It can't be up to me alone, can it? That would be too easy.
The world isn't run on one girl's dreams.

And if it were up to me…would I choose the lighter road?
My decision weighs on the balance, not balances the weight.
Destiny doesn't change for one heart's high hopes.

In the divergence before me, I know what end I want.
Easy trails and smooth walking don't describe that road.
Life won't slow down for my feeble knees.

To take a step in one direction, I need to have courage.
But to reach that goal however, I can not walk alone.
He will walk beside me for my faith.

The world may not care for my dreams. He does.
Destiny may throw my hopes to the wind. He holds them in his own heart.
Life may push on without me. He won't move forward leaving me alone.

No matter the path I choose.

I usually have a hard time accepting the possibilities that life holds for me. There isn't enough solidity for me but that's exactly how God planned it. In order to progress I must take a step in the dark hoping to find ground beneath my feet. The solid ground of my Savior, who will always be there to support and succor me.

Read more...

Misused opportunity

In the entire world there are many opportunities that pass us by. Many of which we make a choice not to take the opportunities by the throat. Sometimes we just miss them and don't realize it until a later date.

Now.

It has come to my attention that I had the opportunity and used it to the advantage I saw fit, but I didn't use it as I should have. As soon as I have this opportunity again...I vow I will not misuse it again.

On the cruise that me and my friends went on this last Spring Break, there were self-serve ice cream machines in the buffet kitchen area. We stopped by on a regular basis. Filling bowls or cones whenever we wanted (don't worry, I struggled with the consequence of that choice at the gym soon after) was a dream come true. As a small child I recall always wanting a soft serve ice cream cone whenever we happened to be lucky enough to stop at a Mickey D's.

There was a third option of consumption means that neither I nor my companions had thought to utilize.

Straight into the kisser.

Regret. *sigh* That is all I feel.

Read more...

Glowing inside

I sit inside this decaying mortal body. I've been trusted with its care. It functions well. But every moment is precious. Although there is strength and physical hardiness to be found, my gift is fragile. Any moment could find me flying back to the presence of my God, leaving it behind.

My beautiful perfection has been marred by some of the things it does. I feel bits of me being chipped off by the sheer depression of a mortal mind and the weak faltering of a carnal nature. I try to stop it. To warn it but while I am in this body, my voice goes unheeded a lot. My voice. It used to ring through the halls of heaven, but now it's small and quiet, barely a whisper. 

Words of encouragement drizzle down on me like warm summer rain. There is nothing else comparable to this feeling. The voice of the prophet of the Lord carries in it the voice of my Savior. My Redeemer speaks to me through his servants, words composed to lead me through the darkness into His everlasting light. The love and light in their eyes reminds me of moments before this life. Of a Heavenly Father and Mother. I swell with happiness and fill the shell that holds me here.

First Presidency

These are the moments that regenerate the light within me. The channel that mortality hinders, opens up at their soft words. The more light my mortal lets in, the less I am pushed back. The abundance of light that this gathering and teaching has provided always stitches a part of me to my frame. This is why I'm here in this body.

To become what my Father is. Light.

Read more...

Looks for myself: Hair part

 In the entire history of the world, woman has been known for her long lustrous locks of hair. Blue ebony plaits of the Native American tribes. Glorious long blond curls of the Germanic tribes. Sparking red tresses known to the Irish. Brunette ringlets abundant in the European hills.

There is a lot that can be done to this hair we women have been blessed with. If it so happens we need a change of color...there are multiple options at our disposal. Now as a generally un-girly girl (that was for you Melis) I do so enjoy doing fun things although I love the hair that God blessed me with.

Dying my hair a darker shade is one of them.

Only temporarily of course. If it was permanent then I would be mad that I couldn't change it back to my natural color without going through the awkward "dye line" stage.

Highlighting my hair was another color change step I had to try.

Note also the extremely attractive sunglasses. Luckily I didn't do platinum blond highlights because then I would've had one of those undesired lines mentioned earlier. I had more like a caramel glaze drizzled over my already light brown hair. I look like a Californian babe...obviously...

The last color change idea I tried was a peek-a-boo. Now I've tried doing the cool bright colors but they faded... the blond is still awesome sauce. I do not as of yet have a good enough picture to display here but it does exist...

Now. This part is my favorite. I have never been so excited about something so little in my entire life.

My jedi braid. 

A simple wrap of diverse colors and patterns arranged in my hair thus. I'm the envy of the university because of it. The colors you see here have since been removed and replaced with an earthy brown, and bright green and salmon bands. Thanks to the dexterity of my good friend Shalyn Maxfield. I have done my best to spread the awesomeness of the jedi.

The one thing that I have done often to my hair and with a great measure of trust. I've received multiple hair cuts. Not from just any old hair stylist either. I've received hair cuts from not one but two of my beloved sisters....and loved it!! My bravery was well rewarded. Despite their lack of well-practiced hands or even their confidence in themselves, they succeeded in making me happy with a shorter, more manageable haircut.

Out of all the crazy hair cuts, hair dye colors, hair wrap options, feather inserts, hair extensions (which I NEVER plan on participating in) there is really only one option I haven't tried... a perm. Now in my childhood recollections...a perm meant Shirley Temple ringlets. There is no way I'm goin there brothers and sisters! However, when I do happen to have the length of hair requisite for said perming, I will go for the long wavy curls that are more stylin in this age and time. So there might just be a post further in the future concerning my next step in the hair tweaking process...

Read more...

Flimsy flamsy

So...I know all of you wonderful people are getting sick of the fickleness of my template design choices. I have indeed been quite dissatisfied with nearly every design I've had thus far until now. I was able to design this one on my own for the most part and I absolutely adore it!!! I want to say that I'll keep this one for ages but I am quite a flimsy flamsy so there is no guarantee...

But I hope that all of you enjoy it as much as I do and that it is aesthetically pleasing to all who visit the awesomeness it contains.

Read more...

Books of paradise

There are many times in my life when I just need to cuddle up on the couch or curl up on my bed and read a good book! 

Sometimes I*m in the mood for a gushy-like-gushers; cheesy-like-the-delicious-squeaky-kind; sappy-as-a-pine-tree romance novel. Other times I*m in need of an honest to goodness C.S. Lewis novel for some deep soul searching and philosophical ponderances. Every night I crack open the Book of Mormon (1) for some serious studying to find life changing answers and comforting words. When I*m up for it I*ll grab a Sherlock Holmes mystery and puzzle my way through it. 

But the books I will never tire of. The books that capture my attention every time I look at the cover. Books with cunning wit. Books of stunning insight and out-of-this-world knowledge. Books that make me laugh until I cry or cry until I laugh. Books that change my life. 

These are books of the paradisical glory of which I speak...

Me and my awesome nose...oh; and the book is there too.

The Complete Book of Nose Etiquette
 ...and other nasal matters

written by Dr. Doight du Nez

drawings by Steve Bjorkman

Never before have I stumbled upon such a work of greatness. Well...it was more my uncle. He was foraging through his old room and its remaining occupants and brought it up to us. I snatched it and haven*t relinquished it since. With amazing depictions of the different nose types in existence; the book describes the 7 basic nose types; discusses the different booger removal techniques available; and even lists some easy do-it-yourself ways to get the nose you*ve always dreamed of. This is by no means light reading.

If you can see my eyes...you might be ninja...

The Ninja Handbook

This book looks forward to killing you soon

Official product of the International Order of Ninjas

This wondrously sneaky book came as a not-so-surprise Christmas gift from an esteemed foe of mine. As is his nature; he tends to think that I need help in this area (little does he know I wrote Section II deducing your ninja level and Section IV the skills of a ninja). In this book it discusses secrets of the elite ninja lifestyle. As the title denotes it is a handbook of sorts. But as with everything else that is awesome; being a ninja goes far and beyond what is contained in this teeny tiny book as all real ninjas well know. 

note: there are serious penalties to those who read this book and disperse the actual contents of its pages...you have been warned...

I*m just a small town girl trying to figure things out...

This Is NOT A Book

Written by Keri Smith creator of Wreck This Journal

This Is NOT A Book was an interesting item to come across. It really isn*t a book. I didn*t read it. Every page contains a new adventure to be performed by the owner (me). From creating Treasure Maps to Psychological mood-altering machines to Kits for boring events. This book is stuffed with crazy random missions for the bored-out-of-your-mind type people or people who need some serious awesomeness in their lives. Some day when I*ve completed all of the pages inside...I will be so mind-bogglingly fantastic no one will know what to do with me.

Well...that is assuming they know what to do with me now...as a normally fantastic person...

Read more...

Day of conundrums

First conundrum: To wake or not to wake?

Out in the world of the awake is a haggard life full of dreary colors and drawn faces. No warmth resides in earth*s first morning breath. The happiness of the sun*s rising has not yet come to pass. The remaining winter bird*s twittering and lilting songs are absent. No sane creature stirs from its place of slumber. A sombre existence in a cognizant world.

Second conundrum: To class or not to class?

A professor*s lecture; full of pomp and vague humor; falls upon many closed ears. Numerous thoughts revolve around a world of dreams and happy hauntings sporadically tapping into instruction. A scarce few nod to the beat of exhaustion and button their eyes secure to the drone of the professor*s lulling oration; which arrests sycophantic attention alone. The chosen subject parades no excitement or fascination to claim justification for the sinful earliness of the rendition. The sandbag man is a far more virtuous and heeded competitor in this dark hour. 

 

Third conundrum: to eat or not to eat?

Being that the first and second conundra coupled; cause for quarterhour shuteyes and hurried traveling; eliminating tardiness served as a consequence for cuffing the snooze button. Time warrants especial division. Gluttony doesn*t comprehend the college cuisine and time deficiency increases eradication. Barren cupboards and wasted spaces common corridors in scholarly quonsets.

Fourth conundrum: to cut or not to cut?

Safe paths on busy highways in blocks and rows. Cut pathways snake through glades and manmade forests frothed with cultivated ices. Danger*s path the quicker road whilst safety*s course runs straight and eternal. Time saved prospects point out slippery ways.

Fifth conundrum: to work or not to work?

Well earned bills and hard spent hours; counterparts work well with instruction. Double-crossing juvenile*s wander lazy patterns within dusted academies while worn out managers sings praising. Beastly creatures run rampant through lowered appendages chasing star sounds. Late leaving monsters grate on hearing aids and mentors. Shaved trees whir round signatures and metal spikes in endless rhythms. Creeping bothersomes watch through clear membranes. Racing to time*s clock to beat the lagging constitution. 

Sixth conundrum: to study or not to study?

Missed concepts from early mornings literally book-ridden. Reconciling weary eyelids and drooping posture steps to ambrosia. Waltzing figures catching butterflies and bowling bubbles in neighboring ballrooms cast shadows on rainbow walls. Rambling attention befits festivities and laughter. Social calls inhibits motivation*s flow. 

Seventh conundrum: to sleep or not to sleep?

Days lain awake; end results to rest. Began with sleep*s deprivement now swift to late activities at it*s expense. Life*s spent worries laid to rest at bed*s edge.

Read more...

misericordia Domini inter pontem et fontent

The ground is hard. It hurt a lot when I fell on it. My mother had to let me go. I want to cry but I don't know how. I can't see her. I don't have eyes yet so life is dark around me. All I can do now is feel and listen.

My entire being shakes with the rumblings of the earth. Noises penetrate my protective shell. She gave me that protection when I was still with her. Days go by I think. I feel the warmth of the Big Light each passing day. He is essential to my growth. But I can't grow much right now. It isn't the right time.

It gets really cold for a long time. It's so hard to survive on my own. Luckily the Light still comes around. It's nice to have someone to rely on. Whenever He shines through the snow I know I can make it at least one more day through the bitterness. Sometimes I just wish that I could grow all the way and be done with this stagnation. But the whisperings of my genetic coding cautions me to continue my dormancy. I do not understand the world around me yet so in order to survive this frail existence I must abide.

I don't know how long that part of my life lasts but I feel the snow melt around me. The warming soil lets me sink down into its protective depths. The voice of my instinct nudges me and whispers encouragement for my future.

It's time to grow.

Time has no measurement in my life. But it is of the essence that I am timely. My size seems to expand and I press against the walls surrounding me.  The protection of my shell has always been such a comfort to me, but I must not be restrained. With all of my might I burst through and see warm darkness. The warmth is a promise of seeing my old friend the Light.  

My roots sink deep into the Light-warmed earth and I anchor myself here. I soak up the living water and essential nutrients that saturates the warmth. I can almost feel my body filling with light. I have so much growing to do.

The surface is near. I can feel the air touching part of my searching fingers.

I break the surface. I have eyes. So many eyes. To see the world and the Light and His brightness all around me. I can't take it all in fast enough. There is so much wonder. I stretch out my first arms and devour the brightness from the outstretched rays of the Light. My entire body leaps into growth almost like a fire burning! I grow as many arms and hands as I can. I want to be closer to Him. It seems like such a hard thing to do. But every little piece of my body yearns to get closer to the Light.

Sometimes huge creatures move past. I see them ingesting the bodies of some of my family. This scares me but I push past my seedling fears to keep growing. I can see that I am still smaller than my mother. Her familiar love provides a canopy overhead. I see in her my own potential. Can I really get that enormous?

The voice that is always with me, my guide and my protector, fills my tiny mortal with hope.  It tells me of my future. I look within and see...the possibility of Me.

Read more...

Disgusting distasteful deceivers

The bag sits innocently on a shelf. Other bags surround it but this bag is different. It is new and exciting. The packaging is bright yellow with rainbow of colors flying about with an alluring pattern.

Skittles.

My taste buds are always pleased with the taste of the rainbow. Never has disappointment been the emotion I*ve experienced when devouring their deliciousness. I am definitely a fan of their delicious flavors.

Thus I am viciously betrayed.

The view before me suggests another package of fantastic flavor. The smell of sweetness somehow wafts from the unopened package. I take the bag of Skittles Blenders in my hand; checkout; and arrive home in a matter of a moments. I pull the colorful bag out of the grocery sack and open it to the yummy looking contents.

I grab a few of each color; intent on deciphering which flavors are the most delicious. I pop a few of the light green in my mouth. Meh. The flavor is definitely NOT a party in my mouth as I was expecting; a little bitter for my taste buds but overall a mundane flavor.

The next color; creamy orange; zooms into my oral cavity. Chewing. Chewing. Nope. Not a fan.

Pink. This is always a great choice. I can*t go wrong with this color. Surprise fills my soul. It isn*t tasty in any way; shape; or form. What had possessed the flavor creators?! My mouth is feeling completely unsatisfied.

Red; surely this color will give me some sort of delightful surprise. I shove the crimson candies in my mouth; determinedly. The flavor hits my tongue and...my tongue rejects it wholeheartedly. My mouth begins to complain and my stomach churns at the noisy orifice. There is no way I*m sending the abhorrent mass down.

Blue. The last color of the new Blenders* flavors. Perhaps I had gone through the worst colors first. This very well could be a flavor fest waiting to burst in my mouth with a magical sensation of ambrosial delight. Hesitantly; I put the indigo pieces past my lips. My entire body revolts! I have a mouthful of inversion inside of me! Luckily I*m able to remove this disgusting inedible stuff into the nearby trash can.

My mouth is extremely disappointed right now.

Read more...

Passersby

There isn*t much to be said about walking past people; except that it can be extremely awkward. I*ve noticed with all of my experience in passing people in the street or on campus; that most are no good at the whole passing thing. There isn*t any literature or written code on the passersby etiquette but it would seem that there are many rules; do nots; and many amendments to top it all off. The amount of thought that each person has to put into merely walking past someone else is enough to make one*s head spin.

My most favorite is the not-supposed-to-walk-on-the-same-side-of-the-road unspoken rule. When walking down the street if there is a person on the same side coming towards you; inevitably they have to get to the other side of the road; immediately or as quickly as possible. The thoughts that roll through my mind include: 

• *Do I reek so badly that it has wafted all the way down to them already?*
• *Would fatal collision have been certain had we both continued on the same side of the road?*
• *Do they know something about me that they shouldn't?*
• *Probably just couldn't handle walking past the awesomeness and attractiveness that is me.*
• *Does my bed hair look atrocious and they don't want to have to hide their sniggering?*

The next unspoken rule on my favorites list is the don*t-smile-because-it-might-not-be-reciprocated -and-then-things-could-get-really-awkward rule. Come on peeps. Show them pearls off. Every time we pass someone; it is our mini audition as a smile model.
 

Absolutely-positively-NO-communication-whatsoever-or-you-will-DIE rule is steadily making its way up on my favorite unspoken rules list. I believe that this is proof of digression in our species. The grunts from pre-homo erectus are even non-existent in the passersby*s world. Communication was a big thing back in the day. Since we can't seem to stay away from the 60s hippy-isms; the 70s dancing; the 80s clothes; and the 90s hair; why not yesterdays communication? Saying hello to someone hasn't killed anyone yet and if it has; it is a very tiny number; not likely to happen to anyone we know.

My cousin touched on this next unspoken rule in her blog. The must-walk-on-the-right-side-of-the-sidewalk rule. It*s good to know that all of us are good enough drivers to apply the traffic idea to the sidewalk. It does make the flow of passing people so much flowier. However; in many cases people will go out of their way to make sure that you do not pass them on the wrong (left) side. 

Another unspoken rule on my list is the you-can-move-out-of-my-way-because-I-obviously-have-the-right-of-way-in-this-situation rule. This one is especially fun in the winter time when the sidewalks haven*t been shoveled yet so there is only the path where many shoes have walked. Because of the limited space for your feet; besides the perfectly good snow banks on either side that will instantly soak anyone to the bone. But there's always the person who walks like a Viking; tall and strong and true and completely unyielding; even if they have a small pullover space close by. 

I face these dilemmas every day as I pass many people walking to and from classes and work and home. There are so many little subtleties to the passersby etiquette. I haven*t even covered all the the little unspoken rules of passing people such as the hurry-and-pass-someone-from-behind-while-looking-at-*something*-very-interesting-on-the-other-side rule or the they-just-slipped-but-I*m-going-to-pretend-that-I-didn*t-see rule. 

I'm sure that we all know the feeling of passing someone and putting WAY too much thought into what we should do.

Read more...

The Worst

Grudgingly, I come to full consciousness. I readjust my position, trying to alleviate the discomfort my body is feeling. The new position offers no solace. My bare feet touch the coolness of the sheets where warmth has not been established yet. Warmth. My favorite part of being in bed during this cold season. Sigh. I must arise and go forth. Nature's call is hard to ignore when it's this insistent.

I roll out from under my covers, hoping that the warmth will be preserved in the miniscule amount of time I will allow myself to be absent. I toe my way to the bathroom and hold my arms out in front of my body, feeling the air for the existence of any object ready to jump out at me from the darkness. My fingers find the light switch and flip it up. The blinding light forces my weary eyelids to squeeze shut. I squint through one tiny slit to find my way to the porcelain chair.

My body closes the gap towards the seat and suddenly my mind screams at me "COLD SEAT!!!" My downward momentum is immediately suspended. What to do? I cannot continue to hold the gallons keeping residence in my bladder and sleep the rest of the night in peace. But how can I put my little behind on the freezing surface of the seat and not get hypothermia instantly? This was a major dilemma that I shouldn't have to mull through at this time of sleepiness.

The battle rages through my brain, seeming to take years of my life away but in all reality lasting mere micro-seconds. Discomfort was a factor in each option. One would last longer and seemed more endurable at the moment. The other was quite fleeting, as my body would warm the seat in a matter of moments but what miserable moments they were going to be. Ah!

Of all times of the year to wake in the middle of the night with this ridiculous need to make my way to the lavatory. The coldest night in all of the world's history and beyond, was the night it had to happen. Gritting my teeth and deciding that it was comparable to ripping off the bandaid, I almost fell on the seat.

What a horrible sensation. The freezing cold seat and me coming together was not something I was enjoying. I hurried my activity as much as I was able. Didn't even bother to sing the ABC's in my head as I washed my hands half-heartedly and as quickly as possible.

I shut the light off, for which my eyes are extremely grateful. The way back to my waiting bed is impossibly long but I finally crawl in between the lukewarm blankets and get comfortable once again. My mind wanders listlessly back to wondrous sleep...

Read more...

Take Luck

Luck. A force that brings good fortune. Everyone wants a piece of luck to come their way. Who wouldn't? Luck, in any situation, makes things go so much better. But is luck a coincidence? Or is luck perhaps a choice?

For most people they say they are lucky because things are going according to plan, or when something out of the ordinary occurs that is a pleasant surprise. But can't we also be lucky in love? Lucky in our choice of friends? I believe that we choose our luckiness. And sometimes we can even be so awesome as to affect the luck of those around us.

My dad, being as awesome as he is, placed a penny on the ground face up. Most people know that a penny in that position signifies good luck. Now we all of us have enough good sense to realize that this is a superstition. But at the same time, whenever I pick up a coin that is face up, I may not really believe that I'm going to have a day of luck but I do feel a bit lighter. There is almost a sense of delight in finding the small bit of smashed metal that holds little monetary value, face up. My Dad may not have really bestowed luck on the particular person who ends up picking up his well-placed coin but he did leave them a little piece of happiness.

We make our own luck. We go through life and come upon choices. Choices of great importance to our happiness or things of little worth to our general well-being. But depending on our choice, we can be a happier sort of person or not so. This is where luck becomes a player. When we choose the greater course and straighten the way, we become lucky...

...it is our choice.

Read more...

Chicken eggs

Did the chicken come first? Or was it an egg? Pointless really. Did the chick in the egg want to come out? Now that is a question worth asking...

All of us in some way or the other like stability and structure. Individually we all like different amounts of those in our lives. Every living creature comes into this world from a place of warmth, comfort, and security. Whether it's the womb or an eggshell, there is always stability and structure. There is no threat of fear or hurt or pain. Do we want to come out, really? Of course we none of us have a choice when it comes to birth. Biological processes will be carried out whether or not we have a choice in the matter. But if we had the power to manipulate parturition...would we come out?

 The egg is well structured. The chick is provided with a strong, protective barrier between itself and the world.  But that chick doesn't have to push its way completely out of the shell that shelters it. It has to make the decision to exert itself to get out, to put forth the effort to push past that strong shell. Why does this fluffy, frail little creature come out of its eternally safe place? Why flirt with the dangers of living?  But we all make that decision. To come from a world of peace, love and light, to live in a broken, hungry world seems condemning. 

We do it because we can only gain eternal life through earth life first. Every stumbling step, every adolescent pimple, every struggling year at college somehow brings us a step closer to our Heavenly Father's side.

I can't remember making such a decision. The Lord put a veil over my mind so that I would make my earth life decisions purely based on my faith and the whisperings of the Spirit. But somehow I feel the weight of the decision every day of my life. As I struggle through small and large trials or even just keeping up with the demands on my time as a busy college student, I recall a little portion of making that decision. Thankfully I've been given a Way. The biggest decision I have to make now, is to give my trust to the One who will lead me on it.

Read more...